Reminders
by Livyloozer
Summary: "Sometimes those dark reminders are what is needed to resolve even those issues buried deep within the subconscious," One-shot inspired by fanart! Rated for some language and suggestive adult themes, in which some are rather dark and I do not support those by the way!


**A/N: Hi peoples! So I know I said I'd be on hiatus because I would not have any time to post anything this semester. I actually do not have much free time…and yet here I am! I seriously did not expect to be publishing anything but I've been inspired by a fanart by two talented and awesome ladies, who go by buynoe and Koizumi-Marichan on Deviantart. Buynoe did the picture and Koizumi later added the background. Don't worry, I have their permission to write this! I describe the art in this story but if you're on the FB group and haven't seen it, I recommend you do so because it's beautiful! I'm not sure how my crazy brain got the idea for this from the picture because my story has some dark undertones. However, I promise it ends on a good note! Fluffy 'marshmallowy' goodness alert!**

 **A little backstory: Arnold and Helga are 23-year-old newlyweds and are living together. They basically dated for over a decade then tied the knot. They have wedding bands on in the picture so I just made up the age. I felt like I had to pick an age. I know lots of married couples in their early 20's anyways!**

 **This is my first one-shot and the first time I've done a first person POV fic, so woot! Also, everything but the beginning and ending is a flashback. And I've proofed this thing but there may be some verb tense issues. I was trying to stick to present this time but felt I needed to add some past verbs in some areas so if it seems weird, I apologize! I know it's a weakness of mine and I'm working on it! Ok…here we go...wait…one more thing:**

 **I'VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN: "HEY ARNOLD!" IS NOT MINE. NOT EVEN THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS IS MINE! WOW, I REALLY DO OWN NOTHING…BESIDES THIS STORY (*CUE SAD TROMBONE MUSIC BECAUSE MY TALENTS PALE IN COMPARISON TO THOSE OF CRAIG BARTLETT, BUYNOE, AND KOIZUMI-MARICHAN!*).**

~Reminders~

I begin to wake up, very reluctantly though, as soon as streams of sunlight starts to slip through the windows and into my line of vision. I immediately notice that my range of motion is pretty limited. I fully open my eyes to determine the source, though it's not like it's a big mystery. Of course, it's Arnold, my husband, with his arms around me, lying half on top of me in the process as well. _My husband_. Man, that still has a beautiful ring to it and it's already been a year. However, I doubt that I will ever stop being in awe of the fact that Arnold loves me back and not only that but he treats me like I'm the most precious thing in the world. It's a bit much at times because I'm still not convinced I deserve that kind of treatment…that thought suddenly triggers a memory from last night, what caused Arnold to hold me tightly until we fell asleep. It was also the reason why parts of the back of my tank top felt dried and crusty. I remember now that those dried areas were once tears. Tears Arnold cried. For me. Details of last night suddenly came barreling back into my head at full force.

…..

 _"Ouch! Damn razor!" I exclaim in pain and then growl as I toss my killer razor across the bathtub. After a long day at work, I wanted nothing more than to unwind by taking a nice, hot and soothing shower. However, my razor had other plans._

 _'Criminy, it's like even inanimate objects are against me,' I think with a touch of dry humor as I just shake my head. I cut off the steady stream of water not long after that incident. I draw the line at one accidental razor cut while attempting to shave my legs. It's not like it triggers anything anymore but I really didn't like the feeling to begin with. It was just something to take my mind off of things while I was being ignored again and again. But that's not my life anymore and I'm really grateful for that. Besides, I haven't had an urge in nearly ten years._

...

 _A few minutes later and I am now dry and in my PJ's, just a simple tank top and shorts combo with socks. One of my legs is now adorned with a bandage over the area where my sadistic razor attacked me. I decided to lie down on the living room couch while reading a book. About ten minutes or so later, I hear the key turning the lock of the front door._

 _"Honey, I'm home!" I hear the cheerful and somewhat joking voice of my husband as he enters the threshold of our apartment. It's a little game we play where one of us greets the other like a spouse from a cheesy sitcom whenever we come home from work._

 _"Hi, sweetie!" I call in reply, not even looking up from my book. He followed my voice immediately, mostly because the living room is barely 10 feet away from the front door. I feel his presence over me as he lowers to his knees and gingerly pushes my book away from my face. That normally would've made me mad but it's time for our 'welcome home kiss', our little tradition. He gently lifts up my chin and in an instant my lips become one with his. We're never really known for quick little pecks, which was kind of my fault from when we started dating. And I guess you could say I'm an enabler since now Arnold can't stop at a little peck on the lips either._

 _I moan while I simultaneously reach for my bookmark on my lap to help secure my place in my book before we take this kiss any deeper, which I know is only a matter of time. The moment I set the book down beside me on the couch, my hands are now free to place them on either side of his cheeks. He responds with a soft hum in delight as he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me in further. This goes on for a few minutes until we both need to break for air._

 _"Hiya," I greet him breathlessly with a smirk._

 _"Hey," Arnold responds just as breathlessly and gives me a smirk of his own._

 _"How were clinicals today?" I ask as I move my hands down to where they are now slowly moving up and down his back. Arnold is doing a summer of clinical rotations while in medical school. It is just another step in Arnold's journey to becoming a psychiatrist, his dream profession and what I know is his purpose in the world. Meanwhile, I became a senior editor for a local newspaper. It doesn't give me much free time to work on my own stories but that, along with bartending on the weekends, is just enough to help pay for Arnold's tuition. That's all that matters to me. I can write any old time but Arnold has to get through school now._

 _"Pretty good," he smiles genuinely as he answers but then his smile changes to a sly one before continuing, "I can tell you all about it but I think we should continue this_ reunion _, don't you think?" he asks rather seductively as his lips get so close that I can feel his breath on my lips. But he doesn't get any closer. He's close enough to just tease me._

 _'How am I not dreaming? I'll never get used to when he acts like that but I'm glad I rubbed off on him,' I think to myself as I giggle in response._

 _"Yes," I breathe, nearly feeling like total putty in his hands._

 _'He's the only one I'll ever let have that effect on me and he knows it,' I think smugly._

 _He then gives me that hooded eye look I love so much as he leans in to kiss me again. I bridge the gap and we embrace. He removes one hand from my waist to slowly move it down my legs until they suddenly stop on my bandage. What he does next surprises me._

 _Arnold abruptly stops kissing me and leans back. His look of pure desire changes to one of worry and even slight horror. I have no idea what is going on through his mind but I know I am about to find out._

 _"Um…Helga, please tell me that's not what I think it is," Arnold asks worriedly as he motions to my bandage with his eyes. He has a firm grip on my arms as he stares intently into my eyes._

 _"What are you talking about? I just cut myself in the shower, no big deal," I answer with a shrug, brushing it off. His promises from not even a minute ago seem like a distant memory but that didn't stop me from trying to remind him. I lean in to kiss him. However, Arnold's focus was apparently set on whatever altered his mood, rather stubbornly I might add. His lips did not move to reciprocate my kiss. In fact, his whole face is still, like he turned into stone. Suddenly, I feel him lean back as he grabs my wrists and jerks me backwards a bit, not hard enough to hurt me but just enough force to get my attention. I sigh in surrender, deciding to humor him for a bit. I look into his eyes with a slanted look, which immediately disappears and gets replaced by one of pure shock and slight terror. Just the look his eyes alone are giving me is nearly enough to make my blood run cold._

 _'If looks could kill…' I muse to myself, letting that thought drift off, too focused on his expression to effectively form complete thoughts anyways._

 _"No big deal…no big deal?! Helga, how could you possibly think that was no big deal?" Arnold exclaimed in exasperation. His sudden outburst is getting to be too much for me to handle._

 _'Where did this come from?' I ask myself but could not get an answer._

 _"What is wrong with you?" I ask in confusion and a touch of fright._

 _"What is wrong with_ me _?! What happened, Helga? What happened to trigger this?" he asked out of a combination of worry and frustration._

 _"Huh?" Now I'm really confused._

 _"Did you run into_ him _or something? Is that what happened? Helga, tell me!" Arnold exclaims, his fear heightening with each utterance._

 _"I will explain if you let me!" I shout right back. My tone was not so much angry as it was just confused and shocked. Arnold's hardened silence in response allows me to finally get my thoughts in order so I can actually make sense of this situation. After just spending a few seconds to piece it all together, it suddenly dawned on me as to why Arnold got so upset. I wanted to smack my forehead after realizing that I was the reason he exploded like that. I now have to make things right._

 _"Oh. You thought I…oh my darling, this is all my fault. I can see now how you thought I was doing that again. My answer wasn't very clear…Arnold, I swear I got cut by my demon razor in the shower. It's a new razor so they're known for trying to kill your legs haha…anyways, I stopped shaving my legs as soon as it happened. I promise it was an accident. And no, I didn't see him today and the incident didn't trigger anything. I'm fine," I explain, my expression being completely sincere. He must've decided I was telling the truth and that my answer was a good one because he suddenly sighs in relief. I then feel myself being pulled into a tight embrace in his arms. He rubs my back and we just stay there in comfortable silence for a few minutes until I break it._

 _"I've seriously forgotten about that, well I at least don't think about it much," I note truthfully. This causes him to lean back again and look into my eyes. His expression is no longer horrified but instead it looks mostly relieved, except for his eyes, which just look sad. Those eyes alone were breaking my heart right now._

 _"I'd like to know your secret because all I seem to do is remember…" he murmurs thoughtfully, his voice filled with melancholy._

 _'Way to drive the knife even deeper into my chest without even knowing, my love! And I thought that other look was going to kill me but this one will too, just in a different way,' I think in observation before I give my reply._

 _"You wanna know my secret?" I ask to which he nods in response._

 _"Well, I think it'd be more effective if I showed you rather than tell you," I reply with a smirk, an idea now forming in my head. This causes Arnold's eyebrows to furrow in confusion._

 _"What are you talking a-mmm!" Arnold starts to ask but I don't let him finish. Instead, I crush my lips against his. It was one of our shorter kisses but I figured it'd be long enough to get my point across. I end the kiss rather abruptly and then pull back to see if that worked. Seeing his confused look only heightening was answer enough._

 _'Hmm, I guess not. Oh, my poor, dense, little love god, what am I going to do with you?' I think to myself with amusement._

 _"Do you understand or do I have to do another demonstration?" I ask point-blank with mock annoyance._

 _"Helga…" Arnold responds. Unlike mine, his annoyance is quite real._

 _"Alright, alright. Don't get your panties in a twist," I joke to which I earn a sour expression from my beloved in response before I continue, "Ok, guess I have to spell it out for you…why am I not surprised?" I ask rather sarcastically._

 _"Helga…" Arnold chides, sounding more annoyed than the first time he said my name like that._

 _"Tough crowd. Ok, ok," I concede as I then place Arnold's face in my hands before continuing, "You are the secret to why I forget. You are my constant reminder of all things wonderful. You are my present and my future. You represent all things that were few and far between in my past: love, understanding, and most importantly acceptance. I don't have to worry about not being good enough for you because you treat me even better than I think I deserve. Your reaction proves that," I explain, giving a gentle nod towards him in reference as I finish. His expression is now thoughtful as he's taking in everything I just said. Seconds pass and then he looks into my eyes and gives a small smile as he cradles my own face in his hands and caresses my cheeks. I hum in delight and we stay like that for a bit, until a yawn from Arnold suddenly interrupts the moment. This prompts me to really look into his eyes and it was then I finally notice the bags under his eyes._

 _'It's been a long week for him and I'm not making it any better. Maybe we should just go to bed before I cause another dumb misunderstanding,' I think glumly as a yawn of my own followed not long after his. That causes me to realize that I've been working long hours lately as well._

 _"Ok, you've had a long day and I'm not making it any better and as you know this is the first time in weeks I've actually come home from work before you so I suggest we just go to bed," I reason, nearly trying to sound like a parent although my expression was only half-serious on purpose._

 _Arnold only nods as he suppresses another yawn. I shake my head in amusement at that as I pull him in to kiss his forehead before I break up our embrace. I then motion for Arnold to stand up and back up a bit to allow me the space I need to get up from the couch, to which he then does just that. He extends a hand to help me up, which I take and I stand up on the couch, getting ready to jump off. Before I get the chance though, Arnold suddenly grabs my waist and pulls me to him. He then takes my legs and wraps them around his waist. My arms cling to his neck in shock as the look I give him mirrors that same shock. He only gives a sly yet innocent grin in response. I give my head another amused shake as I lay my head on his shoulder and let him carry me to our bedroom._

 _Once in our room, Arnold lays me gently on our bed as he goes to our closet to change out of his scrubs. It's been a scorcher of a summer lately so I don't even bother to pull the covers over me. I know I'll just burn up later anyways. Arnold doesn't mess with the covers either when he returns, now clad in just a T-shirt and his boxers. I move over to let him lie on his side of the bed, rolling to my side. He takes a second to get comfortable then suddenly faces my back and pulls me to him so his arms now had my waist in a tight embrace. This was our little routine and I love it, not nearly as much as I love the owner of that embrace though. Nothing would ever come close to what I feel for him. Nothing._

 _'No matter how hot the summer nights are, it'll never be too hot for being held like that,' I muse to myself resolutely._

 _He loosens his grip so I could turn myself halfway to face him. I give a tired smile. He gives brief little kisses to my cheek and neck in response._

 _"Goodnight, my love," I whisper sweetly and rather sleepily. Just lying here causes the exhaustion to deepen. I could tell he was getting to that point as well._

 _"Goodnight, my precious, blue-eyed jewel," he murmurs in response. With one last kiss to my temple, he lets me turn my head back but I just look at him for a second or two. A smirk begins to appear on my face and I just scoff in mock disbelief._

 _"You are just too much sometimes, Football Head, but I love it," I explain smugly. Before I turn around, I initiate our 'goodnight kiss', yet another tradition. It's quite short, well short for us, given our evident exhaustion, but it was passionate nonetheless. When the kiss ends, I lightly peck his nose and then turn around with a giggle. I hear a small chuckle behind me as his arms tighten his hold on me once again. His nose nuzzles my neck for a bit as he hums softly in happiness. He then leans his head back on the pillow and near my back. It's not long until we both drift off into slumber._

…..

 _I do not think I've been asleep for long when a couple new sensations pull me back into consciousness. First, I could feel a kind of wetness dripping onto my back in single droplets. Second, I could hear something that sounded like whimpering behind me. When I became more awake, I put two and two together: that wetness is tears, Arnold's tears and it's his sobs I can hear in the darkness. I try to turn around to comfort him but he has me in a vice grip. I start to wiggle a bit though and that kind of pulls him out of his trance to loosen his grip just enough for me to turn around. He must've done that without thinking, because the moment I put his face in my hands and gingerly lift it up to level with mine, he's staring at me with a look of muddled shock._

 _"Arnold, my love, what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" I ask with concern. He chuckles darkly in response, which takes me aback._

 _"You could say that, though it was more like I died in my sleep then came back," he replies so darkly that I shiver._

 _"Tell me. Please," I whisper as I caress his cheek. I barely manage to get that out since I'm still reeling from his uncharacteristic expression._

 _'It must've been one horrible dream for him to look like this,' I think to myself as I brace myself for whatever I'm about to hear._

 _Suddenly, without warning, Arnold's harsh expression resolves and he breaks down. He begins to sob again and it's enough to break my heart. I pull him to me and wrap my arms around him. I start rubbing his back. I don't know how to shield him from his nightmares but that isn't going to stop me from trying._

 _"Shh…it's ok, my darling, it's ok. I don't know what happened in your dream but it wasn't real. I'm here. I'll always be here for you," I quietly and solemnly promise him. He immediately got quiet and then leans back to stare intently into my face, though his vision is probably blurred by all the tears._

 _"You promise?" he asks softly and innocently, almost childlike._

 _'Like he has to ask but I guess I'll humor him,' I briefly muse to myself._

 _"Of course I will, just like you'll always be here for me. Now why don't you tell me what you remember?" I gently prompt him to tell me about his dream as I wipe some of the tears away from his eyes._

 _"I-I dreamed you were…you were…you were cutting again...and-and you went too far and…I lost you…" Arnold explains, drifting off at the end as the urge to cry again was too much for him. That last part was barely a whisper but I still hear it. I pull him back into my arms and tighten my hold._

 _"Arnold, please listen carefully. I promise you that that part of my life is over. I know it was only a few years ago but a lot has happened since then. Mainly, I discovered a new strength inside of me and I have you to thank for that. You showed me that I'm not a horrible person, that I deserve to be happy. Sure my family had practically made it their life mission to tear me down, especially my dad. But I swear I'll never give them the satisfaction. I don't have those triggers anymore and you're the reason why. I'm well aware that if I left it would kill you and the same is true if the situation was reversed. Again, I don't have those triggers but if I did, I'd never act on them because of you. Because of you, I know I'll be loved and accepted for who I am. You are what keeps me here. You have nothing to worry ab-mmm!" As I finish my little speech, I feel Arnold's lips crush mine in interruption, though it's a welcomed interruption._

 _"Oh, Helga," he breathes mid-kiss before pulling back and continuing, "I love you so much. I don't know what I did to deserve you," he tells me sincerely._

 _"Ditto," I agree with a smirk, "Are you feeling better?" I then ask, my lips now forming a wide grin. He merely nods in response._

 _"Good, now come here," I gently command, extending my arms out to him for him to fall into. He does almost immediately. As I start to move us back to where we're both lying down again, he stops like he's confused about what's going on._

 _"What are you doing?" he asks, sounding puzzled._

 _"You're going to fall back asleep in my arms this time. That way if you're going to have any more nightmares tonight, they will have to go through me first. Even in my sleep, I can beat them up into submission," I respond with a light chuckle. Clearly I'm joking but still, there's a hidden meaning in what I tell him: that I'll always be there for him._

 _"Aw, well I'm touched you'd be willing to bring 'Ol Betsy and the Five Avengers out of retirement just for me," Arnold responds with a chuckle of his own. It warms my heart to hear him laugh again._

 _"Doi! Of course I would," I retort back with a playful scoff. Arnold just sighs happily and holds me tighter, nuzzling the crook of my neck. That's clearly answer enough though._

 _"Goodnight, my football-headed love god," I whisper sweetly._

 _"Goodnight, my flaxen haired angel," Arnold dreamily and sleepily replies._

 _"Hey, that's one of my lines and my hair's not the same blonde as yours, FYI," I argue amusingly._

 _"Ok, well goodnight my_ golden _haired angel, who is a very particular one at that," Arnold elaborates, humoring me. I giggle at that, which causes Arnold to give my waist a gentle squeeze and kiss the crook of my neck. I give a soft sigh in response, both out of pleasure and sleepiness. It does not take that long for sleep to take over us for the second time that night._

…

That was the last memory I have of last night so I guess that means that Arnold hadn't had another nightmare since. I was grateful for that. I know how much he loves me but what happened last night would be proof enough if I wasn't fully aware. However, it saddens me that he would actually think I would harm myself again, knowing that would pretty much kill him. I'm not sure how awake he was then so I hoped he would remember what I told him. I hope he knows I wasn't lying. His love is what keeps me from that kind of deep depression.

Suddenly, I feel movement, which is basically signaling that my wonderful husband is starting to stir. His hands begin to move up and down my back, like a curious child feeling his surroundings. He always does this when he wakes up. I find it completely adorable. After taking in my frame with his hands, his eyelids begin to flutter until his eyes settle on a half-lidded position after fully taking in my smiling face.

"Good morning, my beloved," I greet lovingly. He smiles his famous toothy grin in response. He then gently lifts the top half of my body to remove his hands from my back so he can prop himself up in order to fully meet my gaze.

"Good morning, love," he returns my greeting. He then leans in to initiate our 'good morning kiss', another tradition to add to the long list. I return eagerly. No matter how long they last, our kisses are always passionate. But with last night being so fresh in my mind though, I end up adding a little extra passion to this one.

"So I guess you slept more soundly, huh?" I prompt after we both end the kiss, subtly hinting at his nightmare, but not too subtle because then he wouldn't understand what I was getting at. I find his denseness to be quite amusing though, all things considered.

"Yeah," he answers with a smile, obviously remembering last night all too well. His expression changes quickly to a small frown though before continuing, "I'm sorry that happened, that you had to see that I mean," Arnold apologizes sincerely, guilty for bringing up old memories.

"I'm not," I answer simply. This causes Arnold's eyes to widen a bit.

"Why?" he asks, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Because, I had no idea you still worried about that. Though I probably caused those memories to come back after I accidentally freaked you out with the whole 'bandage incident', I'm actually glad it happened because you needed to know you have nothing to worry about. How long have you had that fear by the way?" I ask suddenly after explaining to Arnold why I didn't regret last night one bit.

"Well, I'm not sure," Arnold begins honestly, his eyebrows furrowing again but this time in thought and not confusion, "I guess it's kind of been in the back of my mind since you stopped doing that," Arnold confesses sheepishly and nervously, obviously preparing himself for my reaction. He knows me so well.

"Wait…ten years?! You've had that fear for ten years? Arnold, why didn't you tell me?" I sputter out nearly in complete hysterics. I begin shaking in realization. I don't feel good when Arnold has any worries, especially if I'm the cause of them. Arnold quickly responds by latching onto my arms and gently but forcefully turning us over so we were both lying on our sides and facing each other. Arnold silently rubs my arms and back for a few moments. He then caresses my cheeks. That's when I realize I must be crying because I feel him wiping some of my tears away.

"Helga, sweetie, I wasn't fully aware either, not until last night but now that I'm think about it, I agree with you. I'm grateful for that misunderstanding last night with the bandage because it helped me see what I was truly feeling. If you think about it, we just solved what could have been a major rift between us. That uncertainty is now gone for good," Arnold promises as he continues to caress my cheeks and ward off any additional pesky tears with his fingers. My beloved, always the voice of reason. Thank goodness one of us is, especially in times like these.

"You better know you're the reason those urges are gone. I know it would kill you and besides I will never feel that bad with you by my side," I answer sincerely, blinking away the last of my tears in the process. My expression then contorts into a fake scowl before continuing, "And shame on you for having doubts about how much you mean to me," I scold lightly, my scowl now a devilish smirk. This earns a heartfelt chuckle from my beloved.

"Well, honestly, it's more like I doubted myself to be enough to help you resolve those issues," he reasons, his mouth forming a small smirk.

"They've been resolved for years, all thanks to you. And they will stay that way, again all thanks to you. And you better not forget it because I have no problem with reliving our childhood the next time we role play just to remind you of that fact," I laugh as I jokingly threaten Arnold.

"You promise?" Arnold jokes with a smirk, though his tone sounds more hopeful than anything else.

"I am clearly a bad influence on you," I observe, shaking my head in amusement. Arnold then leans in to nuzzle the crook of my neck after giving it a light peck. That's sometimes his form of torture because he knows how sensitive of an area that is for me.

"I would disagree," he murmurs into my neck but I'm still able to hear it. He continues to nuzzle my neck with his nose. I can feel him taking in the scent of my skin and it sends shivers down my spine. I am firmly rooted to where I am, though it's not like I'm in any hurry to leave.

"Of course you would," I retort with fake sarcasm. My arms tighten around him and I moan quietly all in response to him suddenly covering my neck with little kisses. This goes on for a few seconds until I feel Arnold pulling me closer to him and tightening his embrace to match the hold I have on him.

And we stay like that for a while, both of us fully aware that we have to get up and start the day very soon and yet we both stayed put. It's like we are delaying the inevitable, which is something we do from time to time in the mornings. Even though we know full well that this moment has to end at some point, we are doing all we can to prolong that just a little more. And though they were unwelcomed at first, sometimes those dark reminders are what is needed to resolve even those issues buried deep within the subconscious, as well as to further strengthen already strong bonds in ways originally unknown at the time. And yet, they are still quite necessary for ensuring that the bond will continue to thrive for years to come.

THE END

 **A/N: So that's it! Took me less than a week to finish and given my crazy schedule that's impressive, although this is basically me procrastinating! I also have a lot to do this weekend so I wanted to finish this while I still had the chance! It's weird what my mind cooks up but I liked writing it and I hope you enjoyed reading it!**

 **My next story is in the works. I might post the first chapter next month or I might not. I want to have at least half of it done so that's up in the air!**

 **Till next time, peoples!**

 **Luv,**

 **Livyloozer**


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